A group of blondes were willing to prove that not all blondes were dumb.
They established a judges panel of people to ask the questions.
On the day of the judging the people started off by asking, "What is 59 + 2?"
The first blonde contestant responded by saying, "57?"
The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
Then they asked, "What is 15 - 5?"
The blonde responded, "20, right?"
Once again the rest of the contestants screamed, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
The judges decided to go easier on her and asked, "What is 1 + 2?" "Is it 3?" said the blonde.
The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
What do you call a bunch of white people in a elevator?
A box of crakers.
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When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me.
First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her.
Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion?
A: It was too current.
Q: Why don't you ask Yoda for money?
A: He is always a little to short.
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Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor.
The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit.
Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor.
This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit."
After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor’s son wearing trousers made of the same cloth.
Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?"
"It’s very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."
Two old guys were sitting under a tree, watching the sun go down.
One says, “You know, I’m 84 years old and my body is full of aches and pains. You’re about my age. How do you feel?”
The other guy says, “Oh, I feel like a newborn baby.”
“Really,” says the first guy.
“Yep,” says the second one. “No teeth, no hair and I think I just wet my pants.”
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So the buddhist pulls a gun out of his coat and the vendor says, "Whoa whoa whoa, what about inner peace?".
The Buddhist responds "This is my inner piece".
You want to come in my life, the door is open.
You want to get out of my life, the door is open.
Just one request.
Don’t stand at the door, you’re blocking the traffic.
An Ohio State University mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table.
Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body.
When he rolled it over, he was shocked to see a cork in the man's butt.
Mystified, he pulled it out and immediately heard the University of Michigan fight song come out of the guy's butt.
Shaken by what had happened, he quickly shoved the cork back into it's original resting place.
He then ran to get his instructor, nervously shouting, "Sir, you must come, you won't believe what I discovered!"
Annoyed by the interruption, the professor said, "Let's take a look at this astounding discovery."
When they entered the morgue, the teacher was also surprised to see the cork, so he approached the table and promptly removed the cork.
Upon hearing the University of Michigan fight song, he quickly replaced the cork in the cadaver's butt and said, "What's so surprising about that? I've heard thousands of assholes sing that song!"
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