Best jokes ever

Yo Mama so fat when Flash tried to run around her he died before he got half way.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: death, fat, sport, Yo mama
The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you," the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity." The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: kids, lawyer, money, wife
Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice? A: He didn't give a hoot!
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, communication
A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat. "No!" yells the blonde. Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again. "For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well, why the hell not?" The blonde says, "Because I wanna stay up here with you!"
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A Scottish man was at a baseball game. It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming “Run, run!” This happened two more times, with a single and a triple. The Scottish man was now excited and ready to get into the game. The next batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called “walk” and the batter started on a slow trot to first. The Scotsman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, “R-R-Run ye ba$$tarrd, rrrun!” Everyone around him started laughing so the Scotsman, extremely embarrassed, sat back down. The fan sitting next to the Scotsman noticed his embarrassment, so he leaned over and explained, “He can’t run because he got four balls.” The Scotsman immediately stood up and screamed, “Walk with pride, man! Walk with pride!”
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: game, sport, time
If the Earth turned 30 times faster, we would get salary every day, but women would bleed to death...
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has 73.01 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: death, time, women
An army Major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks "What's your problem, Soldier? "Chronic syphilis, Sir!" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir!" "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front lines, Sir!" "Good man!" says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic piles, Sir!" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir!" "What's your ambition?" "To get back to the front lines, Sir!" "Good man!" says the Major. He goes to the next bed. "What's your problem, Soldier?" "Chronic gum disease, Sir!" "What treatment are you getting?" "Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir!" "What's your ambition?" "To get to the front of the line and get the wire brush before the other two - Sir!"
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has 73.01 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: military
Undertaker to bereaved husband. When did you 1st notice your wife was dead? Well he replies, "The s*x was the same but the dishes were starting too pile up."
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has 73.01 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly. Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan. Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.
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has 73.01 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: school
Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
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has 73.01 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, IT, technology, Yo mama
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