Undertaker to bereaved husband. When did you 1st notice your wife was dead? Well he replies, "The s*x was the same but the dishes were starting too pile up."
Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly. Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan. Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.
Your mum is so fat when she sat at the back of the bus it pulled a wheelie.
Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
The four words most hated by men during sex? ‘Is it in yet?’
What is 6.9? A great thing ruined by a period.
Yo' Mama's so fat, her scale reads "Game Over."
"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
Yo' Mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.