Best jokes ever

Two blondes finds a mirror on the sidewalk. The first blonde picks it up, looks into it, and says, "Hey, I know this person! I've seen her somewhere before." The second blonde takes the mirror, looks into it, and says, "Duh! Of course you have that's me!"
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Spilled milk cries over Chuck Norris.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung over and tired, he finally nods off. The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his apparent hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon, the preacher decides to make an example of him. He says to his congregation, "All those wishing to have a place in heaven, please stand." The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping man. Then the preacher says even more loudly, "And he who would like to find a place in hell please stand up!" The weary man catching only the last part groggily stands up, only to find that he’s the only one standing. Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don’t know what we’re voting on here, Father, but it sure seems like you and me are the only ones standing for it!"
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, heaven
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,"Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,"Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly. "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: business, life, student, women
"I want a divorce"! "But you made a vow in the church that we remain together till death do us part." "I guess you are right. Very well, go ahead and drink up the tea I made for you."
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor, church, death, divorce, wedding
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, life
One day Little Johnny came home from school and asked his mom what they were having for dinner. She said that it was a surprise and him and his brother would have to guess what it is after they try it. Well dinner time came and they started eating it,but they couldn't figure out what it was. So Little Johnny asked his mom for a hint.She said,"Okay,I'll give you a hint. I call your father this."Little Johnny said to his brother,"Quick Bobby, spit it out,its asshole!"
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has 74.14 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Yo Mama so old... She's got Adam and Eve's autograph.
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has 74.12 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him. Teacher asks, "Johnny, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body." Little Johnny after thinking for a while says, "I saw a dead body cycling to school."
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has 74.09 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: death, little Johnny, school, teacher
Q: Why did the little black boy start crying when he had diarrhea? A: He thought he was melting.
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has 74.09 % from 670 votes. More jokes about: racist
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