Yo momma so stupid she got hit by a parked car!
What does the black kid across the street get for christmas?
Your bike...
If the world were a jacket where would the blacks go?
The Hood.
A drunken man staggers into a catholic church and sits down in a confession box but says nothing.
The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing.
The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final atempt to get the man to speak.
Finally the drunk replies - "No use knockin' mate - there's no paper in this one either".
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
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Yo mama's so fat, she's the reason why the universe is expanding.
I walked in on my girlfriend having sex with her fitness trainer.
Me: "Okay, this isn't working out."
A guy has a bad habit:
He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives.
So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her but he can't.
Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid.
Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help.
So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch.
They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street.
He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, "Don't worry. I got him with the door!"
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices.
The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000.
This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000.
Here we have a policeman's brain as well.
It costs $50,000."
The client asked, "What? How's that possible?"
The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."
When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
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