Chuck Norris can make a robot bleed.
It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honour." Testified the man charged with indecent exposure. "Explain that statement!" demanded the Judge. "Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman... So I showed her."
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
Yo' Mama is so poor, when I asked where her bathroom was, she said, "Fourth bottle from the left."
Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!
Yo mama is so stupid, she was looking for bluetooth at the orthodontist.
Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
How do you kill 10,000 Mexicans? Throw a peso over a cliff. How do you kill 10,000 more? Tell them nobody got it.
Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.