Best jokes ever

There was a tornado in my area the other day. The sky was so black; it took my bike.
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has 71.84 % from 446 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, weather
A man on a beach sees a shark near a child in the shallows. Ignoring personal safety, he dives in the water and, with his bare hands, kills the shark. He brings the tot to shore and is met with tumultuous applause from spectators. "Geez, mate" says a reporter "You should get a medal. What part of Australia are you from?" Modestly our hero says: "Actually I'm from England." The next days newspaper headline says "Pommy mongrel kills child's pet"
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has 71.83 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, racist
The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and make sure that's your pa in there."
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has 71.82 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: cat, death, fish, funeral, little Johnny
Yo mama is so fat that when she asked, "Why is the grass always greener on the other side?" Everyone replied, "'Cause you aren't standing on it."
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has 71.81 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Yo Mommas so stupid she got lost in a telephone booth.
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has 71.81 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: phone, stupid, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat when she tossed in her sleep she woke up in another time zone.
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has 71.80 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, time, Yo mama
Q: What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast? A: Mice Krispies.
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has 71.80 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: food, kitty
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
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has 71.80 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
A farm boy who had just finished his schooling on the farm, was sent by his Ma and Pa to the big city to go to college. The first thing the boy does when he gets to town, is go to find a whorehouse. He goes inside to talk to the madam about getting a girl. She leads him upstairs, opens the door to a room and tells him to sit and wait for the girl to arrive. After several minutes of anxious waiting, a young, blonde prostitute comes in. The boy is beside himself, and he leaps up from the bed, grabs the television, and throws it out the window. The girl thinks this is odd behavior, but she shrugs it off, and begins to undress. As she strips, the farmboy runs over, grabs the night stand and throws it out the window. Again the girl thinks this is odd, but being an experienced hooker, she figures it's a fetish and continues disrobing. The girl removes her panties, and with that, the farm boy grabs the entire bed and starts lugging it toward the window. The girl, figuring this is one even she hasn't heard of, finally asks, "What the hell are you doing?" The farm boy replies, "Ah ain't never been with no woman before but, if it's anythin' like fuckin' sheep, we gonna need all the room we can git."
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has 71.80 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: sex
Student: What’s infinity? Math Teacher: Think of a number. Student: Okay, I’ve got one. Teacher: Good. That’s not it.
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has 71.77 % from 407 votes. More jokes about: math
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