Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
Chuck Norris can spell the longest word in the English language with only three letters.
Chuck Norris can straighten a circle.
How far can you spit. Try to beat Chuck Norris if you ask how far can he spit, at night look at the moon and don't wonder from were the craters come.
Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food? A: Gaelic breath.
Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech. He actually does it.
Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.