Best jokes ever

Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: "I didn't had no fun for months." Then she faces the class and says, "OK class, how should this be corrected?" Little Johnny says, "I think you should get yourself a better man!"
Vote:
has 71.70 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher
A mother and father took their 6 year old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger willies than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play. Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly tells his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."
Vote:
has 71.70 % from 242 votes. More jokes about: age, kids, stupid
Starbucks is offering a new drink to honor Nancy Pelosi. They call it the "fullacrapuccino".
Vote:
has 71.69 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: business, customer service, democrat, food, political
Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country. O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time. When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." "Why were they so grateful?" O'Reilly asks. The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Bill O'Reilly's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
Vote:
has 71.67 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, food, military
Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in inappropriate parts and said to his dad, "I wish I could do that." Jimmy's dad looked down at Jimmy and said, "Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!"
Vote:
has 71.67 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles.
Vote:
has 71.67 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: How does every black joke start? A: With the white guy looking over his shoulder.
Vote:
has 71.66 % from 630 votes. More jokes about: black humor, racist, white people
A French monk wrote a manifesto stating that every woman would agree to sell her body for money. The manifesto was read by the Queen of France and she invited the monk for a chat. So, you're stating that every women would agree to sell herself? Yes. Me too? Of course. And how much do you think I would cost? 500 francs. What?! Only 500 francs?! Here you go - you've already started to negotiate.
Vote:
has 71.65 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: sex
Early one morning a mother went to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "Buy why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I *should* go to school." "Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"
Vote:
has 71.64 % from 356 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school, student, teacher
Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. "I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one. "That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
Vote:
has 71.64 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, mother in law, Thanksgiving
<<<318319320321
More jokes →
Page 318 of 1430.