Chuck Norris once stayed at the Hotel California and was allowed to check out... and leave.
Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.
There once was a gal named Lewinsky, Who played music like a Stravinsky. "Twas "Hail to the Chief" On this flute made of beef. That stole the front page from Kaczynski. Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky, "We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski. Since you look such a mess, Use the hem of your dress And wipe that goo off of your chinsky." Lewinsky and Clinton have shown. What Kaczynski must surely have known: That an intern is better. Than a bomb in a letter. Given the choice of how to be blown.
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
Chuck Norris can say never.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
I and my two mates went to a hooker and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch. My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner! My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50! I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.! "What do you mean," they asked me. "I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.