Best jokes ever

A French monk wrote a manifesto stating that every woman would agree to sell her body for money. The manifesto was read by the Queen of France and she invited the monk for a chat. So, you're stating that every women would agree to sell herself? Yes. Me too? Of course. And how much do you think I would cost? 500 francs. What?! Only 500 francs?! Here you go - you've already started to negotiate.
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has 70.72 % from 215 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? A: It went OK.
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has 70.72 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, dating, nerd
A mother without any pant was playing with her son. The boy pointing to her mother's pussy asked: "Mammy, what is that dark wooly between your feet? Mother: "My sweet that is a brush." Son: "Where is it's bundle?" Mother: "In your daddy's pant."
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has 70.72 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, kids, sex
Yo momma so fat that they had to install speed bumps at all you can eat buffet.
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has 70.72 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Why are there no mexicans on star trek? They don't work in the future either.
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has 70.72 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: racist
Knock, knock. Who's there? Nobel. Nobel who? No bell, I knock.
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock
Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: IT, light bulb, programmer
A redheaded man walks into a bar and sits next to another redheaded man. He orders a Guinness, and the 2nd redheaded man turns to him. "I'm guessing from that accent you're from Dublin?" he asks, in an Irish brogue. "Of course!" the 1st guy exclaims, "here, bartender, get this guy a Guinness, too." Their exchange continues: 1st: "Lemme ask you, what street did you grow up on?" 2nd: "St. Catherine Street. And you?" 1st: "St. Catherine Street, same as you!" 2nd: "Here, bartender, get this guy a Jameson! What school did you go to?" 1st: "St. Jospeh's Boy's Academy." 2nd: "Son of a bitch, I went to St. Joe's too! Bartender, get this guy a Jameson!" This continues, and as they find they had the same teachers and knew the same neighborhood kids, they proceed to get louder and drunker until a guy at the other end of the bar asks the bartender, "What's up with those two?" The bartender shrugs and says, "It's the O'Shaughnessy twins, they're drunk again."
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, geography, ginger, school
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the donkey. "Your name is written inside the cover."
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible, cowboy, time
When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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