A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
Q: What is the most important rule in chemistry? A: Never lick the spoon!
Q: Why do women wear black underwear? A: They are mourning for the stiff they buried the night before.