Best jokes ever

A vacuum salesman goes door-to-door in a new neighborhood. When a woman answers the door at the first house, the salesman walks right in and drops cow patties on her floor. He says, "Ma'am, just to show you how confident I am in the quality of my vacuums, I'll eat whatever the vacuum doesn't pick up." The woman smiles and asks, "Could I get you some ketchup with that?" The salesman scoffs confidently and says, "I assure you my vacuums have more power than any other on the market today!" The woman replies, "Well, that may be so, but we just moved in and the electricity isn't turned on yet."
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Yo mamma so stupid she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to turn green.
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: stupid, Yo mama
A wife who put her husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: husband, mean, sex, wife
Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." Husband says: "Looks like he’s still fucking celebrating!!"
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has 69.28 % from 1043 votes. More jokes about: marriage
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
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has 69.27 % from 254 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
How does an LA policeman go fishing? He catches one fish, then beats it until it tells him where the others are.
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has 69.24 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: cop, fish
Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
One man's hobby was fishing, he spent all his weekends near the river or lake, paying no attention to weather. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the river, as usual. It was cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house. He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. "What terrible weather today honey," he said to her. "Yes. And my idiot husband went fishing!" she replied.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: life
Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer. "How's it going?", someone asked. "Oh, not too bad", said Diogenes. "I still have my lantern."
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer
The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: coding, school
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