The Bible says I'll pay for my sins. I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
Q: Why do we paint Easter eggs? A: Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
Chuck Norris finished Minecraft.