Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11
Seems like school and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
As he was drilling a batch of recruits, the sergeant saw that one of them was marching out of step. Walking up next to the man as they marched, he said sarcastically: "Do you know they are all out of step except you?" "What?" asked the recruit innocently. "I said -- they are all out of step except you!" thundered the sergeant. The recruit replied, "Well, sarge, you're in charge -- you tell them!"
Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off.
Student: What’s infinity? Math Teacher: Think of a number. Student: Okay, I’ve got one. Teacher: Good. That’s not it.
Yo mama so old she ran track with the dinosaurs.
Why is there a fence around the cemetery? Because people are dying to get in.
Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ? A. Nothing, yet.
How do you remove one thousand flies in one motion? Slap a Kenyan in the face.
A bank robber wanted to keep his identity secret, but didn't wear a balaclava. He told all in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them. One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the robber promtply shot him. The robber asked if anyone else had seen his face. One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said "I think my wife got a glimpse"