Best jokes ever

A blonde goes into a near by store and asks the clerk if she can buy the T.V. in the corner. The store clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day and asks the same thing, and again he said he doesn't serve blondes. Frustrated, the blonde goes back home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Sure the clerk would sell her the T.V. by now, she returns and asks a different clerk this time. To her astonishment, this clerk also says she doesn't serve blondes as well. The blond asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I'm a blonde?" The clerk looks at her and says, "That's not a T.V.- it's a microwave!"
Vote:
has 68.97 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: blonde, customer service
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
Vote:
has 68.96 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Can I read your t-shirt in braille?
Vote:
has 68.96 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
Vote:
has 68.95 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: animal, democrat, doctor, political
An old married couple were having s*x and the wife says, "Baby, suck my nipples!" The man dies; autopsy said, "Reason for death: Expired Milk"
Vote:
has 68.94 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar and doesn't.
Vote:
has 68.93 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: bar, cat, nerd
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Vote:
has 68.92 % from 265 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, redneck, sex
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
Vote:
has 68.90 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn't donate even a cent to a charity. "First of all", says the lawyer, "my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it's not covered by healthcare. Second, I had five kids through three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband suddenly died and she has no one to support her four children..." "I'm terribly sorry", says the United Way man, "I feel bad about asking for money." The Lawyer funny responds, "Yeah, well if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?"
Vote:
has 68.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: death, hospital, lawyer, money
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
Vote:
has 68.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
<<<379380381382
More jokes →
Page 379 of 1429.