Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
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Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids.
Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
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Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
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Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
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When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
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When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
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Superman's weakness is kryptonite, kryptonite's weakness is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
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Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
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