Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
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Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Chuck Norris puts all of his baskets in one egg.
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The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
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If you use Chuck Norris in a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors, you automatically win.
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Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
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