The first of September, first lesson. Teacher:
"Please sit quietly, if you want to ask something - raise your hand."
Little Johnny immediately raises his hand.
"You want to ask something?"
"No. Just checking how the system works."
Vote:
Mom can i buy some heels?
No.
Mom can i buy a bra?
No.
Mom can i buy a dress?
No.
Mom can i buy a barbie doll?
No. You never let me buy anything!
Shut up, Justin.
Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A: A pedophile.
Vote:
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court.
"Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me."
"I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
Vote:
"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die."
"Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid."
"Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist.
The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer?
because the grass tickles their balls :)
Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy?
A: The park bench can support a family.
Vote: