Best jokes ever

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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has 69.06 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, marriage, wife
Their was a camel and elephant, the elephant said to the camel. "How come you have your t*ts on your back?" and the camel got offended so he told the elephant. "Well why do you have your d*ck on your face?"
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has 69.06 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Mom can i buy some heels? No. Mom can i buy a bra? No. Mom can i buy a dress? No. Mom can i buy a barbie doll? No. You never let me buy anything! Shut up, Justin.
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has 69.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: life, music
There is a Bar in Calumpang who have has a Horse and they have a contest of it. Whoever will make the horse laugh will win P5,000 and free drinks. So a man from Manila comes in and the Bartender looks at him and he ask for a beer and he ask the Bartender about the contest. The Bartender tells him that whoever makes the horse laugh will win P5,000 and free beer on the house. So this guy whisper something to the horse and the horse rolls over and laughing! EEEHHH! He takes the P5,000 from the Bartender, drinks a lot of beer. As he is about to leave the Bartender ask him, "Will you be back tomorrow when we'll have a new contest?" The guy replies" Of course this is easier money than my career." So the next night.  The guy walks into the Bar with a large smile and reads the sign next to the Horse: Whoever makes the Horse cry will win P10,000 and free beer from the house. The Bartender tells the guy," Let me see you win this one." The guy approaches the Horse and shows him something. The Horse starts rolling on the ground and crying. When the guy goes to claim his prize. The Bartender says." Before I pay you, You have to tell me what you did to the horse?" The guy lights a cigarette and says," Easy the first time, I told the Horse that my penis is larger than his, the second time I showed him."
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has 69.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, money
Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
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has 69.05 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
New York was having a problem with too many pigeons in the city. The mayor of New York placed an ad asking for help to get rid of the pigeons in the city. A man responded to the ad. The man said that he would get rid of all of the pigeons in New York for $1million. He stated that he would stand behind his work and that he had very good credentials. There was only one stipulation, any questions that were asked would cost the city an additional $1million if answered. The mayor agreed to the terms. The man went to his car and brought back a small box. He opened the box and pulled out a pink pigeon. He released the pigeon into the air. Soon all of the pigeons in the city were following this pigeon. The pink pigeon lead all of the city's pigeons over the ocean and one by one the pigeons began to tire and fell into the ocean and died. The pink pigeon returned to it's owner and was given a soft pat on the back and put back into the box. The mayor was totally amazed by this. The mayor complimented the man on his magnificent work. The mayor told the man that he had a question for him. The man reminded the mayor that any questions to be answered would cost an additional $1million. The mayor said that his question was worth the cost. The mayor asked the man if he happened to have any pink niggers.
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has 69.04 % from 280 votes. More jokes about: racist
How do you know if you've walked into the wrong Chinese bookstore? It'll be called "Wong Fook Hing Book Store".
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has 69.04 % from 231 votes. More jokes about: asian, racist
A scientist tells a pharmacist, "Give me some prepared tablets of acetylsalicylic acid." "Do you mean aspirin?" asks the pharmacist. The scientist slaps his forehead. "That's it!" he says. "I can never remember the name."
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has 69.02 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, geek, medical, memory, science
Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...
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has 68.99 % from 283 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat? A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
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has 68.99 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: animal, democrat
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