Best jokes ever

One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
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has 70.46 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, food
The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris, phone, travel
A guy dies and is sent to hell. Extremely frightened because of that, he is very surprised when he arrives; beach, palm trees, sun is shining, happy people around in shorts and bikinis. Behind the next corner there are people eating great food and there's some cool music playing. After some time of wondering, a man in an expensive suit approaches him and says: "Hi, you must be the new one. Welcome to hell, I'm the devil. As you're gonna spend eternity here, make yourself comfortable and have a drink. If anything bothers you, always feel free to ask me." The guy still doesn't really understand what's going on, this is not what he expected. But finally he decides to inspect the area. Everywhere he goes, there are people laughing and having a great time, there's games, party and fun all around. Then he arrives at a steep cliff that divides the paradise hell from an area underneath, and there is hell as we know it: demons torturing the doomed, there's fire and the smell of brimstone. Shocked, he runs to the devil and says "Devil, how can that be? Here, we have the sweet eternity and down there people are tortured and burned! How can that be?!" The devil laughs and says "Oh, that. That's the Catholics - they want it that way."
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: catholic, death, life, music, party
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: music, prison, school, time
Q: Why can't women read maps? A: Because only the male mind can comprehend the concept of 1 inch equals a mile.
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: geography, women
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up...
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A: A ferrous wheel.
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, geek, nerd, science
A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: IT
Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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