Best jokes ever

A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle." His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..." He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
Vote:
has 69.20 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, drunk, men, wife
Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl? A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.
Vote:
has 69.20 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sport
Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like shit.
Vote:
has 69.20 % from 292 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast." And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt." Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was." But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?" The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
Vote:
has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, food, women
Yo mama is so stupid, I said it was going to be chili out and she grabbed a bowl and a spoon.
Vote:
has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot.
Vote:
has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: car, mean, women
The fastest, most effective way to learn about servant leadership is to take a puppy for a walk.
Vote:
has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: dog, management
Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer.
Vote:
has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, car, time, Yo mama
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Vote:
has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men
Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer. "How's it going?", someone asked. "Oh, not too bad", said Diogenes. "I still have my lantern."
Vote:
has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer
<<<377378379380
More jokes →
Page 377 of 1428.