Best jokes ever

A old man was sitting in the front row at a town meeting, heckling the mayor as he delivered a long speech. Finally the mayor could stand it no longer, so he pointed to the heckler and said, "will that gentleman please stand up and tell the audience what he has ever done for the good of the city." "Well Mr. Mayor," the man said in a firm voice. "I voted against you in the last election."
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Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
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Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.
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Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow. No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
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How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.
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Patient: "May I have a glass of water, doctor." Doctor: "Are you thirsty?" Patient: "No… I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks."
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Chuck Norris once stood on a bridge in London. Then they wrote a song about it.
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Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow? You just don't follow him that close!
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing.
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The Bible says I'll pay for my sins. I already do, Escorts, drugs and alcohol don't come free.
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