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Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
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Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
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Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed? A: Man, this music sucks.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
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Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most? A: Fry-days.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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There were three guys manhers, shaup and shed. They went for a drive, shed wanted to go to the store to pick up snacks for the ride. So shed went in the store. Twenty minutes passes they were getting impatient so manhers went in what's taking him so long. Minutes later a police officer went to him and asked his name he replied "shaup!" Police officer was startled what he said. Police said "where's your manners boy!". Shaup replied to the officer "he's inside picking up shed*
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More jokes about: cop, food, time, travel
Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
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Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.
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More jokes about: April fools, disgusting