Best jokes ever

Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay? A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.
Vote:
has 68.56 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, gay
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."
Vote:
has 68.56 % from 210 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, death, funeral, gay
Why don't black people pay rent? Because jail is free.
Vote:
has 68.55 % from 479 votes. More jokes about: black people, money, prison, racist
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
Vote:
has 68.54 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: fitness, health, sex, sport, wife
Yo Mama is so skinny, every time she hiccups she does a backflip.
Vote:
has 68.54 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I’d like some Polish sausage." The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, “"Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian? Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German? Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish? Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?" The clerk says, "Well, no." With deep self-righteous ndignation, the guy says, "Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?" The clerk replies, "Because this is Home Depot."
Vote:
has 68.54 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: jewish, life, mexican
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans? A: The black ones steal your watch.
Vote:
has 68.53 % from 435 votes. More jokes about: black people, food, racist
Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.
Vote:
has 68.53 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: math, women
Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
Vote:
has 68.52 % from 306 votes. More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
Whats the difference between usain bolt and hitler? Usain bolt can finish a race...
Vote:
has 68.52 % from 340 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Hitler, racist, sport
<<<398399400401
More jokes →
Page 398 of 1427.