Best jokes ever

A blonde goes to an international message center to call her mother. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have that kind of money, but I'll do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother." He tells the blonde to follow him and takes her into a back room. He unzips his pants and takes out his penis. The blonde gets on her knees, brings it toward her mouth and says, "Hello? Mom?"
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has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What do you call a black priest? A: Holy Shit.
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has 68.26 % from 1218 votes. More jokes about: priest, racist
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? Beer.
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has 68.25 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, geek, math
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous. "My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?" "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
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has 68.24 % from 384 votes. More jokes about: husband, lesbian, love, marriage, sex
Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.
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has 68.21 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, game
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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has 68.20 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, gay, sex
Knock,Knock, Who is there? Pen! Pen who? is...
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has 68.20 % from 437 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, knock-knock, vulgar
Three boys are walking home from school and they see a naked woman. One of them runs away the other two stay to watch. The next day they are walking home from school and they see the naked woman again, and again the same boy runs away. Another day later they are walking home and they see the naked woman again, as the boy tries to run away the other boys grab him and ask, "What are you gay or something don't you like looking at naked women?" He replied, "Yeah, I love looking at naked women but my mom said that if I see one I'll turn into stone and I feel something starting to get hard."
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has 68.18 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: gay, kids, school, women
A man who is concerned about his wife cheating on him wants to catch her in the act. He doesn’t have enough money to hire a PI, so he goes to a pet shop. There he asks the clerk if he has a parrot for sale. The clerk shows him the last parrot he has: “This is the last parrot I have for sale. He doesn’t have any legs, but he is very smart.” The man asks, “If he doesn’t have any legs, how does he stay on the perch?” “He holds on with his dick.” the clerk answered. The man asks ” How much?” “Since he doesn’t have any legs, I’ll sell him to you for fifty bucks.” The suspicious man purchases the talking bird and takes him home. He sets up the cage in his bedroom where he can see everything; he then instructs the parrot to watch what ever goes on in the room and inform him when he gets home from work. So the next morning he leaves for work and his wife stays home, as usual. When the man gets home from work, as his wife is cooking supper, he asks the parrot to tell him what went on during the day. The parrot begins, “At eight o’clock this morning the mailman came….” Interrupting the man asks, “Yeah and what happened?” “he came in the house…” Furiously, the man asked “And then” “…and then he came into the bedroom…” Astounded the man impatiently asks, “What happened next?” “He began to take off his clothes and she hers…” “What happened after that!” The parrot then replied, “I don’t know I sprung a boner and fell off!”
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has 68.17 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot, wife, work
Seems like school and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
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has 68.15 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: school, time
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