Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much, what is Monogamy? A: The Same!
The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
Pull on a coworker is to press ctrl+print screen on their workstation, then paste it into Paint, save the pic, and set it as the desktop background. Move all of their icons to the trash. When they get back to their desk, clicking won't accomplish anything!
Chuck Norris already has Final Fantasy XXI.
"I have the body of an athlete." "Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
PlayStation network was never hacked. Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on its way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing, "The pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers." "Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "So, why is their dad carrying that rifle?"