Best jokes ever

A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's bedroom, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his gran! Johnny just looks at him and says "not so funny when its your mum is it ?"
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has 68.13 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: dirty
An Army Officer with an under-trainee Cadet went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep. Some hours later, Officer awoke and nudged his cadet. "Charlie, look up and tell me what you see." Charlie replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Officer asked. Watson pondered for a minute and in order to impress his officer said "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that the lord is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have, a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?" Officer was silent for a minute, and then spoke. "Charlie, you idiot, somebody has stolen our **** tent."
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has 68.13 % from 131 votes. More jokes about: military, science, time
Johnny: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do? Teacher: Of course not. Johnny: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
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has 68.12 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: school
What's the definition of bravery? A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
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has 68.08 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, health
Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy? A: The park bench can support a family.
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has 68.05 % from 488 votes. More jokes about: black people, family, racist
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans? A: The black ones steal your watch.
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has 68.05 % from 488 votes. More jokes about: black people, food, racist
I bought a lottery ticket. My son asked me: "Dady if your ticket wins $100,000 what will you do?" I replied: "A travel to Europe, drink best and most expensive wines, making sex by the most beautiful actress and so on." He again asked: "If unfortunately, your ticket didn't win what would be your action?" I angrily gazed him then I told him: "I don't move here, drink some booze and beer; fuck your mother."
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has 68.05 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, money, travel, vulgar
If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
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has 68.05 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A man in a bar, after several drinks, began bragging that he could identify any type of wood by its smell only. The patrons of the bar decided to test him. The man was blindfolded and presented with several pieces of wood. First they tried maple. He smelled it and said, "That's maple." They then tried ebony; he again smelled it and named the wood correctly. He did this with every piece of wood they brought before him. The bartender then got an idea to trick him. And they took one of the waitresses and put her crotch up to his nose. He sniffed for a while. "Boy," he said "This is difficult. Flip that board over and let me smell the other side." So they took they waitress and put her ass near his nose. He took a big whiff, started to smile and said, "You guys can't fool me! That's the shit house door from a tuna boat!"
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has 68.05 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar
Q: Why do women have two holes so close together? A: In case you miss.
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has 68.04 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: sex, women
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