Best jokes ever

Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn
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has 68.52 % from 306 votes. More jokes about: kids, love, poems, sex, vulgar
what do black people and bicycles have in common? They only work with a chain on.
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has 68.50 % from 367 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, work
Yo mama so ugly when she went to sleep Freddy Krueger was scared of her.
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has 68.50 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: ugly, Yo mama
If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
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has 68.50 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty
Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
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has 68.50 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A man is in Vegas where he lost all of his money so he can't pay for a cab to return to the airport. He sees a cab and begs the driver to give him a free ride to the airport but the cab driver declines. The next year the man returns to Vegas and get filthy rich when he decides to leave for the airport. There is a huge line of cabs, and at the very end of this line was the very driver who never gave him a ride the previous year. The man walks up to the front cab "Excuse me, sir if you give me a free ride to the airport I'll let you give me a handjob." The driver declines immediately. The man then asks all the drivers in this line the same thing. When he gets to the last driver, he pays the fee and the cab driver begins moving, when he moved by the line, the man puts two thumbs up through the window so all the other drivers could see.
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has 68.50 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty, driving, mean, money, time
This guy goes into a Sperm Bank with a gun and a ski mask and yells at the receptionist to open the safe. She's confused, thinking this is the world's dumbest criminal. "Sir, this is a sperm bank, we don't have money in here! That safe is full of donated sperm samples!" The robber screams for her to open it. At this point, she's confused. Maybe he's just a guy who thought better of becoming an anonymous donor and wants his sample back. She opens the safe like he commanded. The robber yells: "Now bring over that tray!" The woman does as he asks and brings the tray of sperm samples to the counter. As soon as the tray hits the counter, the menacing criminal makes further demands: "Now open that container and drink it!" The woman's gag reflex triggers. She barely manages to stammer out "that's disgusting! I won't do it!" Angered the man in the ski mask cocks the hammer on his pistol and repeats his command to drink one of the samples. The woman complies, he tells her to drink another, and another until the entire tray is gone. Once the last cup is finished the man pulls off his ski mask and goes: "See honey, it's not that fucking hard."
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has 68.50 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What would Martin Luther King be if he was white? A: Alive.
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has 68.49 % from 672 votes. More jokes about: black people
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
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has 68.49 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: animal, democrat, doctor, political
Have you heard about the new "Mint flavored birth control pill" for women that they take immediately before sex? They're called "Predickamints".
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has 68.49 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: drug, sex
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