Best jokes ever

Yo' Mama is so fat, instead lint in her belly button, she's gathered full sweaters.
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
I and my two mates went to a hooker and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch. My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner! My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50! I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.! "What do you mean," they asked me. "I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, money, sex, time
You are so old, the candles on your birthday cake raised earths temperature by 3 degrees.
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, insulting
A drunk sitting at a bar observes a very snobby woman participating in a wine tasting contest. She was very good at identifying the wine. At the first taste she says: "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1998" and all the people were amazed. At the 2nd try she answers "Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953" and they were once again amazed. Then the drunk pisses in a glass and hands it to her. She tries it and says "Yak, this tastes like piss!" And the drunk says, "Yeah, but what year was I born?"
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, disgusting, drunk, wine, women
One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed. That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say: "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists."
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, dentist, kids, money, religious
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: women
A blonde's redhead decides to show her a neat way to trick people. You put your hand on a wall and ask someone to punch it. But before they do, you pull your hand away! "That is a neat trick," thinks the blonde, and tries desperately to remember it, but isn't all too successful. Despite this, she decides to try it out on her blonde friend. "Okay," she says, "I'm going to put my hand in front of my face..."
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Do files get embarrassed when they’re unzipped?
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: IT
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: IT, management
An 87-year-old man chats with his doctor: "So, I'm getting married again next week, doc!" "Oh, that's wonderful! And how old is the bride?" "She's 19." "That's fantastic – but I have to warn you, too much action in the bed can be deadly!" "Ah well, if she dies, I'll just have to remarry."
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, doctor, marriage, old people
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