Best jokes ever

People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
Vote:
has 68.33 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Three men were in heaven discussing how they died. The first man said, "I died in a car accident." The second man said, "I died by drowning." The third man said, "I died of seenus." The first two men asked, "Do you mean sinus?" The third man said, "No, I mean SEENUS. I was out with my best friend’s wife and he seen us!"
Vote:
has 68.32 % from 229 votes. More jokes about: car, death, heaven, sex, wife
Yo mama so old Moses is in her year book.
Vote:
has 68.32 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: age, insulting, Yo mama
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning.
Vote:
has 68.29 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: flirt, food, romantic, time
Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy? A: The park bench can support a family.
Vote:
has 68.29 % from 495 votes. More jokes about: black people, family, racist
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 68.28 % from 215 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: Why do farts smell? A: So deaf people can enjoy them, too.
Vote:
has 68.27 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Yo Momma's o fat she supplies 99% of British gas.
Vote:
has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?" "No" her mother replied. "Well, I think I have to throw up!" "Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush." In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked. "Yes" the little girl replied. "Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?" "I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'for the sick'."
Vote:
has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: catholic, church, disgusting, kids
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom's annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn't quit it. The next morning, packing to return home, the couple couldn't close a large suitcase. The groom said, "Darling, you get on top and I'll try." That didn't work. Figuring they needed more weight on the lid, she said, "Sweetheart, you get on top and I'll try." Still no success. So, he said, "Look. Let's both get on top." At that point the parrot pulled away the towel with his beak and said: "Zoo or no zoo. I just gotta see this."
Vote:
has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot
<<<396397398399
More jokes →
Page 396 of 1430.