You are so selfish!
You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Vote:
A mother noticed her little dauther praying.
"Please, God," the little girl kept saying.
"Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia."
"Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked.
"Beacause that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!"
A doctor asks a patient while examining her:
How many sex partners did you have?
5 or 6, don't remember exactly..
Hmm, not that many...
Yes, that wasn't the most successful weekend.
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer.
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One hundred: one to hold the lightbulb, the other 99 to rotate the house.
Grass is green,
trees are greener.
When I think of you,
I play with my wiener.
Vote:
3 things which change women:
1) I love U
2) I liquidated to your account
3) U have lost weight
The last one had been some fatalities!
A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road.
He stops.
And he asks him:
- Hey, What happens to you?
- (crying) Look! and he points a crashed car.
- Well, don't care and buy another car.
- Look inside the car!
- Well, don't care and get another blonde, and that's all.
- Look inside her mouth!!!
A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home.
But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson.
He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet.
The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."
The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."
The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"