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Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
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The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
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Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
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If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.
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Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
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Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
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Girl: "Why did the king go to the dentist?" Boy: "I don't know, Why?" Girl: "To get a new crown!"
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Q: What do you call a sleepy Easter egg? A: Egg-zosted!
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