Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One guy said he was going to bug him. He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a sissy." "Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that." Puzzled, the English man walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a sissy and he didn’t care!" "You just don’t know how to set him off, watch and learn." The second English man walked over and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder. "I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite!" "Oh, wow, I didn’t know that, thank you." Shocked beyond belief, the English man went back to his buddies. "You are right, he is unshakable!" The third English man said: "No, no, no, I will really big him, you just watch." The English man walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and said: "I hear your St. Patrick was an English man!" "Yeah, that’s what your buddies were trying to tell me."
I play the worlds most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
Did u know Chuck Norris had a role in star wars. He was the force.
Bruce Springsteen calls Chuck Norris 'The Boss'.
Guns don’t kill people – husbands who come home early kill people.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal. Then he places the bowl.
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
Chuck Norris protects his body guards.
A Lawyer and the Pope died at the same time, both went to heaven. They were met at the Pearly Gate by St. Peter who conducted them to their rooms. The Pope's room was spartan with bare floor, army cot for a bed, and a single bulb for light. They came to the Lawyer's room. It was huge with wall to wall carpeting, king sized water bed, indirect lighting, color TV, stereo, Jacuzzi and fully stocked bar. The Lawyer said, "There must be a mistake. This must be the Pope's room!" St Peter said, "There's no mistake. This is your room. We have lots of Pope's, but you're our very first Lawyer!"