Best jokes ever

Marrying a man for his good looks is like buying a house for its paint.
has 84.23 % from 286 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal. Then he places the bowl.
has 84.21 % from 221 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
has 84.21 % from 838 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
My wife has a contract to give lectures – it’s called a marriage licence.
has 84.20 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
has 84.20 % from 993 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say," "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding... He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
has 84.20 % from 321 votes. More jokes about: cop, prison, wedding
Agnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, Lord, theyre finally together. One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."
has 84.19 % from 633 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, kids, marriage, women
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
has 84.19 % from 426 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning – though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.” They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her. The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. “I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.” They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her. The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.”
has 84.19 % from 803 votes. More jokes about: blonde, college, god, mexican
Chuck Norris cut's a knife with butter.
has 84.19 % from 363 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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