Best jokes ever

The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, time, wife
Q: Which Bible character had no parents? A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: bible, family, geek, IT
The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better". So I installed LINUX.
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT
A car slows down at a stop sign and keeps driving. A cop sees him and pulls him over. The cop asks, "Why didn't you stop?" The man says, "I slowed down." The cop pulls out his nightstick and starts beating him. "Now," the cop says, "do you want me to stop or slow down?"
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
Yo' Mama is so old, she dreams in black and white.
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, insulting, memory, Yo mama
Life may not be worth living, but what else can you do with it?
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: life
Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
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has 66.36 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: death, desert island, Hitler, lawyer
What do u call 4 mexicans sinking in quicksand? Quatro,sinko.
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has 66.36 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: racist
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
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has 66.36 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A guy is flying in a hot air balloon and he's lost. So he lowers himself over a field and shouts to a guy on the ground:"Can you tell me where I am, and which way I'm headed?" "Sure! You're at 43 degrees, 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north; 123 degrees, 8 minutes, 12.8 seconds west. You're at 212 meters above sea level. Right now, you're hovering, but on your way in here you were at a speed of 1.83 meters per second at 1.929 radians" "Thanks! By the way, are you a statistician?" "I am! But how did you know?" "Everything you've told me is completely accurate; you gave me more detail than I needed, and you told me in such a way that it's no use to me at all!" "Dang! By the way, are you a principal investigator?" "Geeze! How'd you know that?" "You don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going. You got where you are by blowing hot air, you start asking questions after you get into trouble, and you're in exactly the same spot you were a few minutes ago, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
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has 66.36 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: math
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