Best jokes ever

Q: How do you kill an emo? A: You don't you let depression do the work.
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, work
Travel agency named „Bermuda triangle" – Let us meet on the other side.
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: death, travel
Yo mama so fat that she walked out to a party wearing heels and came back wearing flip-flops.
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, party, Yo mama
A young boy and his dad went out fishing one fine morning. After a few quiet hours out in the boat, the boy became curious about the world around him. He looked up at his dad and asked "How do fish breath under water?" His dad thought about it for a moment, then replied, "I really don’t know, son." The boy sat quietly from another moment, then turned back to his dad and asked, "How does our boat float on the water?" Once again his dad replied, "Don’t know, son." Pondering his thoughts again, a short while later, the boy asks "Why is the sky blue?" Again, his dad replied. "Don’t know, son." The inquisitive boy, worried he was annoying his father, asks this time "Dad, do you mind that I’m asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son." replied his dad, "How else are you ever going to learn anything?"
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dad, fish, kids
I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly. Tweet Share
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, golf, life, work
Patient: "Doc, recently I've been very careless." Doc: "How? Give me an example." Patient: "Now I'm speaking with you, it seems that I'm talking to my dick."
Vote:
has 65.78 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, vulgar
Kid to her mother: "If you hurt me I'll make you pregnant by a needle." Mother: "How? My sweet it isn't possible." Kid: "I'll insert the needle to daddy's condom!"
Vote:
has 65.76 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, mean, sex, vulgar
A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm finding out the time -- it is 12:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15." The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is -- it is 3:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time. The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying naked on the ground, masturbating. The cowboy asks what he's doing and he replies, "I'm winding my watch."
Vote:
has 65.74 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, disgusting, masturbation, time
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
Vote:
has 65.73 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, sex
What’s the difference between ‘Oooh!’ and ‘Aaah!’? About three inches.
Vote:
has 65.73 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: sex
<<<457458459460
More jokes →
Page 457 of 1429.