Best jokes ever

Why don't you hit a black kid on a bike? Because it's probably YOUR bike.
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Hipsters hate rivers. Too mainstream.
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Two halves make a whole. Two wholes make Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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Every night I play a game called "Should I pee or can I hold it till morning".
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More jokes about: life
No! You don't have "Bad luck". You have low IQ and you make bad decisions.
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More jokes about: insulting, life, stupid
The church is struck by lightning. The insurance company refuses to pay out for damages incurred, as there is a specific disclaimer clause for "An act of God", which, amongst others, lightning is classified as. The priest goes to every household and asks for a donation to rebuild the church. One Christian farmer protested, "I'm sorry, Pastor, but I can't give money to Somebody who set His own house alight!"
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More jokes about: christian, church, god, life, priest
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"
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More jokes about: age, birthday, fat, marriage
It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
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More jokes about: accountant, time
Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game