John comes home and notices his wife naked in bed and the postman standing with his unzipped trousers next to the bed.
The postman wants to save the situation so he says quickly: "Mrs. Ann, I warn you for the last time! If you do not sign this letter so I will pee on your brand-new carpet."
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl.
Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously.
The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch.
She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage.
"Look," she said.
"We only met a half hour ago.
How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other."
"You're wrong," the young man declared.
"For the past 5 years I've been working in the bank where your father has his account."
How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!
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Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Me: Well the reasons I had have all now been replaced by the fact you can talk.
We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately we've been married for 10 years.
Q: What do you call a Chinese person with a video camera?
A: Phil Ming
Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
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Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They don't know where home is.
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Yo mama so fat she stepped on a Nintendo GameCube and turned it into a Gameboy.
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a balanced meal.
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