Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
All employees are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in effort to save company dollars. One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods which could be used to defray travel expenses. In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all employees prior to their departure so that they may earn tips by helping others with their luggage. Small plastic roses and ball point pens will also be available to employees so that sales may be made as time permits.
Chuck Norris haunts ghosts.
My New Years resolution is 1080p.
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job? A: Because it was soda pressing.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.