Q: What is a computer's first sign of old age? A: Loss of memory.
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If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!
Chuck Norris can blow the answers away from the wind.
President George W. Bush decides it is time to do some public relations at a local Washington DC nursing home. The President begins his "tour" down the main hallway and passes by a little old man who doesn't seem to notice him. Sensing this, President Bush backtracks to the resident and asks, "Do you know who I am?" The little old man looks up from his walker and says, "No, but if you go to the front desk, they will tell you your name."
Q: What is a ghosts favorite snack? A: Boo berries
Q: Why was the condom flying through the air? A: It got pissed off.
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.
I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn't been made up yet.