Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.
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Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark? A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.
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More jokes about: bible, christian, game
A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.
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Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, "I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just £10 but on one condition." "The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance,'What's your condition?" Phil answered, "Tell me your wish in just three words." There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, "Clean my house."
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Why can't single women fart? They don't get an asshole till they get married.
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More jokes about: fat, marriage, men, women
A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, "I don't know. It all happened so fast."
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It was at an amusement park on a brutally hot day when I saw a father with 2 kids. "Who’s enjoying the most?" I asked cheerfully. "I am" said one. "I am" said the second. "No," the father said "their mother is!"
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The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris. It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
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If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
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More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, flirt, Halloween, sex
Yo mama so stupid she told a yo mama joke to you.
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More jokes about: communication, stupid, Yo mama