Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him.
He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What’s happening?"
The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the zoo."
"Oh my, which way is it heading?"
"Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?"
Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle?
A: Trying to put batteries in it.
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Q: What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address?
A: Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.
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One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed.
That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say: "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists."
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Work emails are like the gym.
You sign up for it thinking it will be loads of fun.
You get bored of it within hours.
You only keep going to keep up your reputation.
The more you stay away, the harder it is to go back.
Yo mama so fat she irons her pants on the driveway.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a Nintendo GameCube and turned it into a Gameboy.
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a balanced meal.
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A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.