Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
There are no bombs, Chuck Norris just jumps out of a helicopter and punches the ground.
Chuck Norris can finish Sims.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris would have attacked the Death Star with the Shield Generator still up.
Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays". The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.