Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
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We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris didn't have a mum or dad, he created himself.
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Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that unfortunate incident with the dinosaurs.
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Chuck Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
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Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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When Chuck Norris was kidnapped by aliens he did experiments on them.
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Chuck Norris is the four horsemen of the apocalypse!
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