Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
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Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
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If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Einstein's theory of relativity is still a theory.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear seatbelts.
Seatbelts wear Chuck Norris.
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Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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