Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
Vote: has 84.12 % from 424 votes. Send joke:
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Little Johnny was only six years old when he tried to feel his sister's friend's pussy. She slapped him and said not to because it has teeth and will bite. As the years passed, and little Johnny one day grew to become a man, he was sitting in his car with his girlfriend, rubbing her thighs and squeezing her tits, when she said, "Aren't you going to feel my pussy?" He said, "I can't, its got teeth!" "Don't be a fool," she said, "have a look if you don't believe me." So he thought about it, then took off her panties and spread her legs. He looked in and said, "I'm not surprised you haven't got any teeth with gums like that!"
Vote: has 84.11 % from 582 votes. Send joke:
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Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat. The government hates competition.
Vote: has 84.11 % from 534 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, political
A lawyer, a priest, and a young boy were in a plane that was going to crash, yet they only had 2 parachutes. The lawyer proclaimed that since he was the smartest man on the plane, that he deserved to survive. He took a chute and jumped. The priest looks and the young boy, and reflecting back on his life, told the young boy to take the last parachute since he had already lived a wonderful and full life. The boy replied, "You can have the other chute because the smartest man on this plane just jumped out with my bookbag!"
Vote: has 84.10 % from 205 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, lawyer, priest
My colleague said to me, "I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower." "No, just your daughter's head," I replied.
Vote: has 84.10 % from 319 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Two kids were talking together. First: "My daddy is so tall that he can touch the clouds in the sky with his hands." Second: "That is excellent. Does your daddy touch something soft and downy?" First: "Yes, of course." Second: "Those are my daddy's testicles."
Vote: has 84.09 % from 506 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, communication, dad, dirty, kids
What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common? In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.
Vote: has 84.09 % from 499 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Like changing coins - I always desired to change my 60 old years wife to three 20 years girls!
Vote: has 84.08 % from 85 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, life, marriage, money, wife
What every sports player should say after winning? "First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."
Vote: has 84.08 % from 567 votes. Send joke:
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A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "here put these on." She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can’t wear your pants," she said. "That’s right!" said the husband, "and don’t you forget it. I’m the man who wears the pants in this family!" With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. He said, "Hell, I can’t get into your panties!" She said, "That’s right, and that’s the way it’s going to be until you change your attitude…"
Vote: has 84.07 % from 77 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: couple, holiday, men, wedding


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