Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch.
He simply decides what time it is.
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Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
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To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
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Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
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Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
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After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
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Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
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There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
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Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
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