Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch.
He simply decides what time it is.
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Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics...
In the summer.
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Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
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Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
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Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
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Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
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Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
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Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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