Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars. He smokes smoke grenades.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
Scooby Doo prefers Norris snacks'.
"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
Yo mamma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.