Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep.
Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
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When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.
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It is better to give than to receive.
This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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Why did we have a global recession?
Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"
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Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
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Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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