Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
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Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek."
He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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