Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal. Then he places the bowl.
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has 83.64 % from 206 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Father: "Son, you were adopted." Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!" Father: "No, we are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 10 minutes."
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has 83.63 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: family
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
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has 83.62 % from 411 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees. She explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later, the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest. Little Johnny — at the back of the class — put his hand up and asks the teacher, "Are you sure about the stork, miss? I think you’re getting your birds mixed up.My big sister just got a little baby and she said it came from a black pecker at the beach!"
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has 83.61 % from 316 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Chuck Norris broke the law once. It still isn’t fixed.
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has 83.60 % from 484 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Recruits got a shock when their Army basic-training instructor turned out to be an attractive female sergeant. Her assistant, however, was a burly, hawk-nosed veteran whose glare could freeze water. At the end of training, the attractive instructor congratulated the recruits and said that if there was anything she could do for us, just ask. From the back, a voice called out, "How about a kiss from the sergeant?" "Sure," she replied, raising her hand to quell the laughter. "But I'll let my assistant take care of it!"
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has 83.60 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: military, women
After numerous rounds of, "We don't know if Osama is still alive," Osama himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of the coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. Noone could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA. With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help. Within a few seconds, the Marine Corps cabled back with this reply, "Tell Kennedy he's holding the message upside down."
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has 83.60 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: communication, military, political
“Doc, I think my son has VD,” a patient told his urologist on the phone, “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.” “Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the medic soothed, “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.” “But I’ve been screwing the maid too, and I’ve got the same symptoms he has.” “Then you come in with him and I’ll fix you both up,” replied the doctor. “Well,” the man admitted, “I think my wife has it too.” “Oh crap!” the physician roared, “That means we’ve all got it!”
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has 83.59 % from 708 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, phone, wife, women
Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
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has 83.59 % from 457 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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has 83.59 % from 583 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, duck
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