Did you find my horse well behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him...
Get away from my nuts.
Kennen was having a drink in a saloon when his neighbor, Stakely, came rushing in.
"Ah think somebody's stealin' yore pickup truck!" the man said breathlessly.
Kennan ran outside, but came back right away.
"Well, did yew stop him?" asked Stakely.
"Naw!" said the redneck.
"He was too fast.
But Ah got his license plate before he got away!"
Vote:
A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman out shopping.
‘I haven’t eaten anything in four days,’ he says.
She looks at him and says, ‘God, I wish I had your willpower.’
When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
Vote:
When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns his cow into pasture.
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance.
The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.
"Shit!" says the ant.
"One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
Yo momma so poor...
That your family ate Cornflakes with a fork to save milk.
Why couldn't the cow leave the farm?
She was pasteurized.
Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way.
God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye."
To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"