Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets.
He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
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How do you get a Mexican chick to blow you?
You decorate your wiener with leaves.
Trust me, Mexicans love blowing leaves.
What do you get when you mix a nigger and an octopus?
I don't know, but it picks the hell out of cotton
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I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation.
Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
Two gays were at a dance.
As they were jigging about the floor with each other.
Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?"
"No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
A piece of sandpaper walks into a bar.
The bartender says "What will it be?"
The sandpaper goes "Just something to take the edge off"
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Everyone could tell our son was a Tigers fan.
When he was handed his diploma, he dropped it.
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Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper?
A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
Mary Lou, the blonde, was out playing in the garden one day with three boys.
They ran around in the garden and played tag.
She later climbed the tree that was in her garden.
Her mother yelled out, "Mary Lou get down out of the tree, the boys are going to see your panties."
She laughed and she laughed.
She knew she wasn't wearing any panties.
A Native American walks into a bar with a cat, a bag of sh*t and a shotgun.
He asks for a bottle of whiskey and immediately downs it.
He throws the bag of sh*t up in the air, shoots it with his shotgun, and takes a big bite of the cat's ass.
The bartender asks, "Buddy, what the hell are you doing?"
The Native American responds, "I want to be like the white man: get drunk, shoot the sh*t and eat pussy."