Yo mama so fat people used her as a tramp.
Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
Apparently Neil Armstrong use to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and followed them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."
There was an old married couple who love each other very much.
But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him.
The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop."
Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind.
She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while.
Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
Chuck Norris has a website, is called the internet.
Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor?
They were given a right roasting.
Adamantium may be hard but Chuck Norris is harder.