There were three guys in Hell - Iranian, American, and a Chinese man.
They asked Satan to let them call their family.
The American called and talked for 10 minutes.
He payed $1,000.
The Chinaman called and talked for 15 minutes.
He payed $2,000.
The Iranian talked for an hour and only paid $10.
The other men complained and Satan responded, "A call from Hell to Hell is local.
Q: Why did dinosaurs have sex under water?
A: You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.
Vote:
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower.
How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
Vote:
A man and woman were on their first date.
The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer."
The man looked away and turned red.
"What's wrong?" asked the woman.
"I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
Vote:
When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
Vote:
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels!
A woman got married, but her husband was abusive.
She got remarried and that husband ran out on her.
She got married again and that husband failed in bed.
Finally, she put an ad in the paper: "Looking for a man who won't abuse me, won't leave me, and won't fail me in bed."
The next day, the doorbell rings.
There is a man with no arms and no legs.
"Hello, I saw your ad in the paper," he says.
"Tell me a little about you."
"Well, I have no arms, so I can't hit you.
I have no legs, so I can't run out on you," he replies.
"How do I know you're good in bed?" she asks.
He says, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"