Chuck Norris puts ice cube trays in the cupboard, and he gets ice.
Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work.
The world ends on December 21st, 2012. Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
Some of us can "save the day," Chuck Norris can save a century.
How did the calf's final exam turn out? Grade A.
Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.