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Chuck Norris puts ice cube trays in the cupboard, and he gets ice.
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Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work.
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The world ends on December 21st, 2012. Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
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Some of us can "save the day," Chuck Norris can save a century.
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How did the calf's final exam turn out? Grade A.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
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After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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How do bulls drive their cars? They steer them.
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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