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Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
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Q: Did you hear about the Hungarian who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Hungarian Remover".
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Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam... In the Sahara Desert.
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What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty.
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A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist. The woman asks for some good advices. The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Chuck Norris made the llama extinct. Never spit in his face.
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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Once you pop, you just can't stop. Unless you're Chuck Norris.
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The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"
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