Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
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How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they can't change a thing.
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A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?"
The father, surprised, answers:
"Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.
In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, see them and they make you cry."
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
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Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.
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The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Yo mama so fat, her portrait fell off the wall.
Your mama is so hairy Bigfoot took a picture of her.
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!