Q: How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?
A: Inflate it.
Yo momma so poor...
The building society repossessed her cardboard box.
Yo momma so poor...
I walked into her home, asked if I could use her toilet, and she said "Sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..."
Where do steers go to dance?
To the Meat Ball.
Men are like Bluetooth.
When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
The average man is proof enough that women can take a joke.
Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way.
God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye."
To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
Chuck Norris has a basement in his treehouse.
Vote:
What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions?
Crime fighter.
Vote:
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.
After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.
In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've got a better idea, let's pretend we're married."
"Why not," giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies.
"Get your own blanket."