Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist?
A: Because it had Bluetooth.
Girl: “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.”
Mother: “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”
Girl: “My homework.”
Yo mama's so fat that when she jumped into the ocean a hurricane began.
Teacher: How we use the light?
Pupil: To suck it?
Teacher: Why do you say so?
Pupil: Because every night, my mother says to my father, "Switch off the light, I wanna suck it!"
What is the longest word in the English language?
Smiles: there is a mile between the first and last letters!
What does it mean when you see a bunch of black men running in one direction?
"A Jail break"
Vote:
Two friends talk:
"Hi, what are you doing?"
"Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card."
"Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?"
"No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."
Vote:
Your momma is just like a shotgun, give her a cock and she blows.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly.
So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common?
A: Both their moms are going to kill them!