Yo mama so fat she was in a parallel universe.
Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common? A: They've both been laid all over America.
Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
Chuck Norris can skydive into outer space.
Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph. Why? Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
People with Pogonophobia (fear of beards) do not fear Chuck Norris beard. They are too scared of his entire existance to focus on 1 part.
Chuck Norris can stand the rain...
Yo Momma is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!