A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?"
The father, surprised, answers:
"Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.
In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, see them and they make you cry."
Q: What happens when four mexican guys are standing in quick sand?
A: Quatro Sinko.
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
Vote:
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
What's gross?
Farting in the bathtub.
What's grosser than that?
Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
Vote:
On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.
Vote:
Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
Vote:
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Yo mama so fat, her portrait fell off the wall.
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.