Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.
How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85 non-refundable on-site service fee to consider
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore? A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
"My wife drives like thunder." "So fast?" "No, every minute she strikes a tree."
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
Pritam is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Shankar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Shankar is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. Pritam gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Shankar and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" Shankar replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks Pritam, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are outstanding in their field."
Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.