What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? Steer Wars.
Once a teacher asked one of her students to memorize the numbers from 1-10. And that night when he was memorizing he saw his mother drinking 7up, so the next day the teacher asked the student to say the numbers that he memorized so he replied," 1-2-3-4-5-6-8-9-10". The teacher was confused so she asked the student," Where is the 7" so he said," my mom drank it last night!"
Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
Chuck norris can throw a rock at you... looking the other way.
What's the best way to make a bull sweat? Put him in a tight jumper !
The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
Sherlock Holmes dies and goes to Heaven. There is a brouhaha. Sherlock Holmes asks St. Peter what seems to be the problem. Apparently, Adam has gone 'walkabout' among all the souls. It will take ages to find him. Holmes tracks down Adam, very quickly. The Lord asks Holmes how he recognized Adam among the millions of souls, without ever having met him. "Elementary, my dear God, he has no navel."
Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a.
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!