Man walks into a shop and sees a very handsome dog. He asks the shop assistant, "Does your dog bite?"
"No, my dog doesn't bite."
The man happily tries to pet the dog, but the dog attacks him viciously.
A little later he stumbles to the shop clerk, "Hey, you said your dog doesn't bite!"
The shop clerk shrugs, "He doesn't. But that wasn't my dog."
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Q: What is a computer's first sign of old age?
A: Loss of memory.
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TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon?
Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night.
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.
A old woman took a package to the post office to mail and was told it would cost $3.95 for fast delivery or $2.30 for slower service.
“There is no hurry,” she told the clerk, “just so the package is delivered in my lifetime.”
He glanced at her and said, “That will be $3.95, please.”
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After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse.
He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20.
The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left.
He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room.
To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed.
So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life.
Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs.
He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a blow-job while he was driving?
They both fell off the motorcycle.
Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
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Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!
Three guys are stranded on a island; black guy, white guy, and a Mexican.
They come across a Indian tribe, the chief said" go into the forest and pick a fruit and bring it back.
We are going to shove it up your ass, if you scream we will cut off your head".
The white guy goes in and brings back a banana they shove it up his ass he screamed soo they cut off his head.
The Mexican goes in and comes back with a grape they shove it up his ass he screams.
They all look at his and ask" why you scream?" The Mexican says" because the black guy is coming back with a watermelon.
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Joke has 61.64 % from 338 votes. More jokes about: black people, desert island, food, mexican, racist