Best jokes ever

Your mamma is so fat when she steped on the scale it said to be continued.
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More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Your mom is so fat when she jumps all the oceans disappear.
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More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.
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More jokes about: women
Now, that's gotta be a hell of a thing to go to jail for cable. You in there with mass murderers and everybody. "What you in here for?" "I killed six people. What you in here for?" "Comedy Central."
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More jokes about: death, life, prison
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
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More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
A mother and son were walking through a cemetery, and passed by a headstone inscribed ‘Here lies a good lawyer and an honest man.' The little boy read the headstone, looked up at his mother, and asked "Mommy, why did they bury two men there?"
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More jokes about: death, lawyer
Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals? A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!
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More jokes about: democrat, dog, political, vulgar
This mothers day, Men all around were criticized for not calling their mothers on such an important day. But me, I thought of the best way to get out of such a mess. Heres how the beginning of the Monday after Mothers Day went for me: Mother: "You know Mike, I was thinking and out of all my sons, you never called me on Mothers Day!" Me: "You know Mom, I was thinking, and out of all my mothers, you never called me on SON-day!" Something like this is bound to make her smile and forget, worked with my Mom!
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More jokes about: anniversary, time, women
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
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More jokes about: dirty, sex
A vampire goes into to the bar and and for a glass of hot water. The bartender says, "I thought you guys only drank blood." The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "We do, I'm making tea."
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More jokes about: bar, dirty