What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging. 
Yo mama is so stupid that when she got locked up in the supermarket she starved to death.
Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.
The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks."
The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks."
They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks.
She looked down, then got run over by the train!
Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment!
Yo mama so old she had a wedding picture with George Washington.
Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
Vote:
Q: How can you tell a black person is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Vote:
Yo mama is so fat that she took geometry at the school because she heard there will be some pi.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Being a very religious kind of person, when I checked into my hotel, I said to the woman at the desk; "I hope the p*rn channel in my room is disabled."
"No," she said, "It's regular p*rn, you sick b*stard!"