Best jokes ever

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques, visualization, association,it made a huge difference for me." "That's great! What was the name of the clinic?" Fred went blank He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?" "You mean a rose?" "Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: hospital, medical, memory, old people, wife
A woman got married, but her husband was abusive. She got remarried and that husband ran out on her. She got married again and that husband failed in bed. Finally, she put an ad in the paper: "Looking for a man who won't abuse me, won't leave me, and won't fail me in bed." The next day, the doorbell rings. There is a man with no arms and no legs. "Hello, I saw your ad in the paper," he says. "Tell me a little about you." "Well, I have no arms, so I can't hit you. I have no legs, so I can't run out on you," he replies. "How do I know you're good in bed?" she asks. He says, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
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has 62.44 % from 847 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!
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has 62.43 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
How many Wall Street protesters does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change a thing.
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has 62.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: life, light bulb
Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
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has 62.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
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has 62.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, women
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
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has 62.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?” His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”
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has 62.42 % from 600 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wedding
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
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has 62.41 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, life, money, terrorist, time
Yo' Mama has more crabs than Red Lobster.
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has 62.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
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