Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.
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After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse.
He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20.
The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left.
He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room.
To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed.
So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life.
Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs.
He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a blow-job while he was driving?
They both fell off the motorcycle.
Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
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Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!
Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal?
Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"
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Q: What kind of celebration pays down the national debt?
A: A tea party.
When we moved to the US I was 8 years old.
I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance?
When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.
Q: What do you call fake spaghetti?
A: "I'm pasta."
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Fred got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked.
"Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Harry had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee."
"Oh, that's awful!"
"You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry."
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