Yo Momma so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Male walks into a bar with a lump of concrete under his arm he says "I'll have a pint of beer and one for the road ".
If life hands you lemons, break out the tequila!
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris.
The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Vote:
Sperm 1: How much longer tell we get to the egg?
Sperm 2: We've still got a long way to go. We're only half way down the esophagus.
Vote:
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper?
A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
"Does she have a boyfriend?"
"Yes, a cute, strong and clever one."
"What's the name?"
"John, Michael and Bill."
Vote:
A guy is sitting in a bar and turns to the Asian guy next to him and asks:
"Hey do you know, Tae Kwon Do, Jiu Jitsu, Kung Fu or any of that sh*t?"
Offended the Asian man replies: "What you think that just because I'm asian I know martial arts?"
The man replies: "Nah its because you're drinking my f*cking bourbon"
My idea of balanced diet is beer in each hand.
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?
A: Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides.