A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?" The father, surprised, answers: "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, see them and they make you cry."
Knock Knock. Who's there! Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don't let me in!
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
So this guy walks in to a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks dude where did you get that. And the parrot answers in Africa theres millions of them.
What do you call men who use the pull out method? Fathers.
What do you call a pool filled with Black People? Coco Puffs.
What do a tornado and a black person have in common? It only takes one to ruin a good neighborhood.
Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? Because black people have no rights...
Yo mamma so fat she doesn't play temple run she plays temple roll.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she asked if her drug test was multiple choice.