Yo' Mama is so old, her teeth are like stars: they come out at night.
Your mama is so ugly that I guess you can say that the genes passed down.
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the pool the water jumped out!
Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse?
Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce.
The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce."
"Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house."
The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that!
What's the big deal about a two-story house?"
The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is...**I have a headache** and the other story is **It's that time of the month!** "
If I won the Lottery, I wouldn’t be one of those people who immediately quit their jobs.
I’d make my boss’s life a living hell for a week or two first.
Misers are lousy to live with, but they make great ancestors.
I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face?
A: It will kick off your ladder…
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette look through a dictionary for the hardest words they know.
The brunette's word is "quizzical."
The redhead's word is "sardonic."
The blonde's word is "di*k."