Roses are red, violets are blue. Pornhub is Down, your mums Facebook will do.
Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?” His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”
What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions? Crime fighter.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has a kickstand on her peg leg.
Yo' Mama has more crabs than Red Lobster.
A man went into the drugstore and asked for a deodorant. "The ball type?" asked the clerk. "No," said the dumb man. "It's for my underarms."
Boy: My magic watch says that you don't have any underwear on. Girl: Well its wrong... Boy: Guess my watch is 15 minutes fast
Knock, knock. Who's there? Nobel. Nobel who? No bell, I knock.