What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom!
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor?
They were given a right roasting.
Vote:
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence?
A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
Your mama is so ugly that I guess you can say that the genes passed down.
Remember the Leia scene from The Last Jedi?
That wasn't the force, it was Chuck Norris resurrecting Carrie Fischer.
Vote:
Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse?
Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.
A kid asks his father:
Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed?
Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.
The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”.
The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?"
"Yes, we are. Why you ask?"
The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?"
"Yes I am!" says the mom with pride.
The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?"
"Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?"
The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce.
The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce."
"Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house."
The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that!
What's the big deal about a two-story house?"
The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is...**I have a headache** and the other story is **It's that time of the month!** "
If I won the Lottery, I wouldn’t be one of those people who immediately quit their jobs.
I’d make my boss’s life a living hell for a week or two first.