Save the tree, eat a beaver.
Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.
The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
Yo mama so fat she was in a parallel universe.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she poured a bowl of Cheerios and said, "Look, my alphabet soup spells 'Ooooo.'"
Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.
Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common? A: They've both been laid all over America.
Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. "But will it be all right in the rain?" she asked anxiously. "Oh certainly, ma am," said the manager smoothly. "After all, you've never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?"
Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? A: Because he was squatting.