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Chuck Norris does not need a remote for his tv for all he needs to do is just stare until it turns on.
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Why do so many women fake orgasm? Because so many men fake foreplay.
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Chuck Norris hates Raymond.
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Chuck Norris is a fact.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear seatbelts. Seatbelts wear Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once rolled a dice. It landed on tails.
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Gravity is Space's way of trying to keep Chuck Norris away from it.
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If Men Ruled the World... Laws: Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance. Car rental agencies would rent tanks. Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas. Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.
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When Chuck Norris talks, people listen. When he doesn't, people still listen.
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Q: Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible? A: He thought he saw a job.
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