Best jokes ever

Money isn’t everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: money
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!"  Second Blonde: "Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!"
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, memory, money, work
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life, relationship, time, wife
Q: What do you get when you put Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy together? A: A redhead with a yeast infection.
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, ginger
A 5 year old and a 3 year old are upstairs in their bedroom "You know what?" says the 5 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing." The 3 year old nods his head in approval, so the 5 year old says, "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?" "Ok" the 3 year old, agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Shit mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Fruit Loops." (WHACK...she spanks him) He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 3 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know mum, but it won't be fucking Fruit Loops."
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, food, kids
Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: hipster, love, winter
Yo' Mama is like marijuana everyone does her, but no one admits it.
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?" Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?" Dan says, "OOOOH WOW! Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
A blonde goes to the doctor with both of her ears and her right hand are burned. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor. "I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear." "What about the other ear and your hand?" "I tried to call for an ambulance."
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde
<<<574575576577
More jokes →
Page 574 of 1427.