Best jokes ever

A man was digging a ditch, when he uncovered a lamp. When he brushed it off, a genie popped out, and said "To show my gratitude for releasing me, I'll grant you one wish.." The man thought for a second, reached into his pocket, pulled out a map of the world, pointed to the Middle-East, and replied "I want you to bring peace to this area." "Ooooh...I'm so sorry, that's impossible" said the genie. "There's absolutely no way I could accomplish such a great feat, so you'll have to choose another wish..." The man then said "Well...then how about having my wife give me oral-sex voluntarily...?" The genie thought for a minute, then said "Can I see that map again..?"
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
Steve Jobs was an amazing man. He will live in my hard drive forever!
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, computer, IT, technology
It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" "If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?" The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, travel
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a getaway rope.
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him. Eventually, the bears went away. Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble. Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: doctor, Halloween
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put ice down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat when she jumped in the pool the water jumped out!
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Money isn’t everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: money
I've trained my dog to bring me red wine. It's a Bordeaux collie.
Vote:
has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dog, wine
<<<574575576577
More jokes →
Page 574 of 1427.