Yo mama so old she ran track with the dinosaurs.
Q: What are the three rings of marriage?
A: The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.
The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes.
St. Peter: "What do you want? "
Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus."
St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
Vote:
A black guys is walking through the woods, he starts to hear a sounds.
It goes ching chong wu.
So he starts to walk to wear he heard the sound.
Soon enough he comes across a Chinese guy and a river.
The black guy ask was that noise.
The Chinese guy say, every time I throw a quarter in this river it tells me a name of an old relative.
See watch, Chinese guy throws a quarter, ching chong chun.
The black guy says let me try.
He throws a quarter in and the river says, chimpanzee.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
Vote:
Never hold in a fart; that's something an asshole would do.
Vote:
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A URLologist.
One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late.
His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.
The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead.
The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing.
To which the boy replied, "Yes, ma'am, he did.
My dad said that he didn't have enough bait for both of us."
What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
Fur traders.
What did one math book say to the other math book?
"I don't know about you man, but I got a lot of problems!"