Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?”
Second one says, “No, its Thursday!”
Third one says, “So am I. Let’s go get a beer.”
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A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
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Q: What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
A: The location of the dirtbag.
Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
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James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
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Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet?
A: He was looking for pooh!
A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper.
The little girl asks, "hats under there?"
So the man answers , "A bird..."
The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain.
A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?'
The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl."
So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses.
When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about.
So they ask her if she did anything to the man...?
She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.