The Titanic didn't sink by an ice burg, Chuck Norris was doing the back stroke across the Atlantic.
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Chuck Norris threw rocks into the ocean and named them Hawaii
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Chuck Norris has never won a single fight.
Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
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Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph.
Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
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Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks.
They speak for themselves.
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