The Titanic didn't sink by an ice burg, Chuck Norris was doing the back stroke across the Atlantic.
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A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
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A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer
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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
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Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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