When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does. NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
Chuck Norris was an only child. Eventually.
Chuck Norris wears boots to protect the Earth from his feet.
Why can’t blondes make ice cubes? They forget the recipe.
Chuck Norris isn't appropriate... appropriate isn't Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
Q: Why do blondes need see through lunch boxes A: So they can tell if they're coming home or going to work.