Q: Why do German shower heads have 11 holes?
A: Jews have 10 fingers.
Vote:
On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes.
Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes.
Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Sophie's feet are in agony.
The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear Edward say, "God, that was tight."
"There," whispers the Queen to the Duke, "I told you she was a virgin."
Then, to their surprise, they hear Edward say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter."
"That's my boy," says the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."
Maths is like s*x...
ADD the bed
MINUS the clothes
DIVIDE the legs
and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
What do you call it when Miley Cyrus falls down?
Hoe-Down.
Yo' Mama is so poor, her bathroom consists of a tin can and a pile of leaves.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, her wig has a chinstrap.
Q: What is height of Honesty?
A: A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
Q: What is height of De-hydration?
A: A cow giving milk powder.
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk.
But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
What do you call a tired cow?
Milked out.