Yo mama so old she ran track with the dinosaurs.
Q: What are the three rings of marriage?
A: The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.
The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes.
St. Peter: "What do you want? "
Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus."
St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
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While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
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Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
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What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
A URLologist.
One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late.
His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.
The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead.
The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing.
To which the boy replied, "Yes, ma'am, he did.
My dad said that he didn't have enough bait for both of us."
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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