Best jokes ever

An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
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More jokes about: age, life, old people, sex, viagra
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris. Well thats all you need to know.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons? A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
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More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, Halloween
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup." Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
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More jokes about: animal, death, food
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty. She's not wearing any clothes.
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More jokes about: dirty, kitty
A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. The guy asks, "What's this about?" The bartender replies, "Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone's drinks for the next hour. You wanna do it?" The guy replies, "Nah, the steaks are too high."
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More jokes about: alcohol
Roses are red violets are blue. I hate poems even more than I hate you.
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More jokes about: insulting, poems
Sperm 1: How much longer tell we get to the egg? Sperm 2: We've still got a long way to go. We're only half way down the esophagus.
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More jokes about: disgusting