Your Moma is so fat the only words she knows is the universe.
Patient goes to Doctor, doctor starts looking at him... - Good, good, good... - Doctor, what's good? - Good that I don't have what you have...
Three women are out clubbing and they spot a club that says, "Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The first floor has a sign on the door that reads, "All men here are short and plain." The women laugh and continue up to the second floor. The sign reads, "All men here are tall and plain." Still this isn't good enough, and the women proceed to the third floor. "All men here are short and handsome." The women still want more and go to the fourth floor, where the sign reads, "All men here are tall and handsome." This is perfect and the women are preparing to go in, when they realise that there is still one more floor. They go up one floor and read the sign. "There are no men here. This floor is built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil. Chuck Norris killed that man.
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
A blonde goes to the doctor with both of her ears and her right hand are burned. "Sit down and tell me how it happened," says the doctor. "I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear." "What about the other ear and your hand?" "I tried to call for an ambulance."
Yo' Mama is so ugly, the tide wouldn't even take her out.
Yo' Mama is like marijuana everyone does her, but no one admits it.