A young boy caught sight of his mother changing one day, and asked her what that was that she had between her legs.
"That is something you're never going to talk about again.
And you shouldn't touch it either, because it has teeth."
Many years went by, and the boy never touched any girl in between her legs, because he was very scared.
One day, however, he met the love of his life and, in time, they got married.
On their wedding night, his wife asked him to touch her there.
"No," he said, "it's got teeth."
"Silly goose!" she said.
She spread her legs wide for him to see.
"See? No teeth!"
"Well, I'm not surprised," the man said.
"Not with gums like that."
One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch:
"My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."
If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..."
In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"
You should try the new Starbucks terrorist latte... it has a white fluffy head with 2 shots in it.
Yo mama so old her drivers license in hieroglyphics.
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?
He had locomotives.
What's funnier than cancer?
Most things, really.
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"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
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