Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
Yo mamma so fat she walked into the upside down and it immediately turn right side up-
Q: What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl? A: "Just flush it like everybody else does."
For a weddin' present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars. Two weeks later he asked him, "W'atcha do with the money, son?" "Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!" answered the boy. "Yew dumb ignoramous!" yelled his father. "Yew should 'av bought yourself a rifle!" "A rifle? What fer?" "Suppos'n one day yew cum home and find some guy sleepin' wid yore wife," explained the older redneck. "W'atcha gonna do? Wake him up and ask him what time it is?"
Q: The male sex has two hobbies. What are they? A: His left hand and his right hand.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
A couple of years ago the english national team was about to start training in preparation for an important qualifying match when the manager at the time, Sven-Goran Eriksson, discovered a big turd in one of the penalty areas on the practice pitch. Ok boys, he said, who's shit on the ground? Emile Heskey replied: "Me coach, but I'm good in the air!"
Yo Momma is so hairy, that Bigfoot tried to take her picture!
Yo mama so ugly when she auditioned for a horror movie they sent her to a professional!
Yo Momma's so fat when she takes a bath she fills the tub then turns on the water.