Stevie Wonder recently told his wife that he wants to see other people.
Kings buy Chuck Norris size beds.
Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
Justin Bieber has Chuck Norris fever!
Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks. They speak for themselves.
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders? A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares. Actually he can also blow your face.
Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain? A: After a dye job.