Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve?
A: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
Yo moma so fat she jumped off the Grand Canon and got stuck.
Yo Momma so fat she has seat belts on the chairs to keep her fat from rolling off!
Yo Momma's so stupid that she burned down the house with a CD burner.
Write a message on an upside-down paper cup that alludes to something horrible being trapped under it.
Leave it on a coworker's desk or in a conference room.
Vote:
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert?
A: Peach gobbler.
Vote:
Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Vote:
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk.
The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!"
The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
Two guys on a double bike where pedaling up a hill.
It took forever to get to the top.
When they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, "Whew, that was so hard."
The second replied, "If I hadn't been pushing the brakes the whole time we would have rolled down backwards."
A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer...and a mop.