Yo Momma's so stupid that she burned down the house with a CD burner.
Write a message on an upside-down paper cup that alludes to something horrible being trapped under it.
Leave it on a coworker's desk or in a conference room.
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Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert?
A: Peach gobbler.
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Q: What's a good holiday tip?
A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
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Religion is a lot more like politics.
The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.
Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve?
A: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
NOTE: This joke is only for those who recently had a brain transplant.
DO NOT read ahead unless you don't mind being offended.
You're still reading this, aren't you, asshole?
Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving?
A: The cop!
Dear Facebook,
Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"
The hardest known subsatance in the universe is Chuck Norris's will.
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