Why did the blonde go to KFC?
She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three.
One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.
What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
Threesomes.
Vote:
-How is Ruth?
-Not sure. I broke up with her last month.
-Oh no. You're so Ruthless.
-And how long have you been waiting to use that?
-I'd rather not say.
A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor.
"Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant."
The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?"
She says, "Because it's started missing its period."
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!"
Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"
Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team?
A: The New York Jets.
Vote:
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Urine.
Urine who?
Urine trouble if you don't open the door.
Vote:
God made everyone different he got tired when he made china.
Old Farmer Peter was dying.
The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."
Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."
Peter: "But I want you to."
Wife: "But why?"
Peter: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"