A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
Martin ended a letter to his dad with this question, 'Is Washington's picture still on the dollar bill?' His Father wrote back, 'Of course it is. Why do you ask?' Martin answered, 'Because it's been so long since I've seen one!'
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
It was at an amusement park on a brutally hot day when I saw a father with 2 kids. "Who’s enjoying the most?" I asked cheerfully. "I am" said one. "I am" said the second. "No," the father said "their mother is!"
Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.
Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
A preacher goes into a bar and says "Anybody who wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everybody stands up except for a drunk in the corner. The preacher says "My son, don't you want to go to heaven when you die?" The drunk says "When I die? Sure. I thought you were taking a load up now."
Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy? He did okay until his business fell off.
The three words most hated by men during sex: ‘Are you done?’ The three words most hated by women during sex, ‘Honey, I’m home!’
Yo mama so old she used a walker when Jesus was born.