Chuck Norris flosses with dynamite wick.
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
Just announced that they are changing all the days of the week to Chuckdays. Happy Chuckday everyone!
I before E except after Chuck.
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, you need to put your head up her ass to get her perspective.
What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.
Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break... It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!
I looked into a blonde's eyes, but all I saw was the back of her head!
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"