Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me." Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a cell phone?" Blonde: "They're too expensive, so I did the next best thing: I put a mailbox in my car." Psychiatrist: "And do you receive any letters?" Blonde: "No, but I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
Yo mama's so ugly that slender-man ran from her. She's also the reason why slender-man doesn't have eyes.
Q: Two blondes are standing on top of the Empire State Building. How can you tell which one is the true blonde and which one is the bleached blonde? A: The bleached blonde isn't throwing bread crumbs at the helicopters!
Yo mama so old, she walked into a museum and found her ex.
When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the fireplace.
Q: Why did the blonde girl stare at the orange juice box? A: The orange juice box says, "concentrate."
Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.