When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates A: Hugh Hefner.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-ass jeans.
Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the fireplace.
Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!
Q: Why did the blonde girl stare at the orange juice box? A: The orange juice box says, "concentrate."
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb? A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?