Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth?
A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
Chuck Norris needs no further explanation.
Vote:
Our body cells renew while asleep.
If only our wallets could do the same.
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye."
The bartender says, "Yeah, right! I've never seen anyone do that!"
So the man takes out his glass eye and bites it.
The angry bartender pays the man his fifty dollars and the man walks away.
He comes back half an hour later and says, "I bet you fifty dollars I can bite my left eye."
Now the bartender becomes really skeptical.
She says, "I just saw you walk in here you can't be blind!"
So he takes out his fake teeth and bites his left eye.
The bartender pays him his money and he walks away.
What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house?
The Lizard of Oz.
What did the calf say to the silo?
"Is my fodder in there?"
Q: What do you call a naked deer?
A: Buck naked!
A length of rope walks into a bar.
The bartender looks at him and says "get out, we don't serve ropes in here!"
The rope goes outside and cuts himself in half and ties his two sections together.
Not pleased with his appearance, he takes a comb and combs out his ends.
He walks back into the bar and the bartender says "hey, aren't you that rope I just kicked out?"
And the rope replied "no, I'm a frayed knot."
Cartoonist found dead in home.
Details are sketchy.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.