A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat.
He came across two men.
One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room.
Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
Vote:
Why was the man sued by his horse?
For palomino-money!
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife?
He was an aunteater.
Q: How does a blonde part her hair?
A: By doing the splits.
Person 1: What's the difference between a blonde and garbage?
Person 2: Garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
Person 1: Wrong. You tie the garbage up before you take it out.
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
My New Years resolution is 1080p.
Vote:
When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right.
As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
Vote:
Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."