Q: How does a blonde part her hair?
A: By doing the splits.
Person 1: What's the difference between a blonde and garbage?
Person 2: Garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
Person 1: Wrong. You tie the garbage up before you take it out.
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
My New Years resolution is 1080p.
Vote:
When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right.
As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
Vote:
Why don't men like to drink coffee at work?
It keeps them awake.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put ice down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.
Question: Why does Tigger smell?
Answer: You'd smell too if you played with Pooh all day!
Q: Whats the height of desperation?
A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.
Vote:
Yo Mama's so ugly, I can f**k her in any position and it'll still be doggie-style.