Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
A: Polar Bond.
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self?
A: Beef stroganoff.
Q: Why did the students study in the airplane?
A: Because they wanted higher grades.
Q:Did you hear the joke about the rope?
A:Just skip it.
What's green and eats nuts?
Syphilis.
Vote:
Texan: "Where are you from?"
Harvard Graduate: "I come from a place where we do not end sentences with prepositions."
Texan: "Okay — where are you from, jackass?"
Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me."
Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money.
I shall be everlastingly in your debt.
Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin.
At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again.
The teacher says, "What are you doing?"
He says, "Checking my answers."