Too stupid to understand science?
Try religion!
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers yet.
"Yes, teacher," he said, "my dad taught me."
"Good, Johnny.
Tell me what comes after two," the teacher said.
"Three," replied little Johnny.
"Very good.
What comes after five, Johnny?" asked the teacher.
"Six," answered little Johnny.
"Excellent.
Your dad did a very good job.
Now, what comes after ten?" the teacher asked.
"A Jack!" replied little Johnny.
Vote:
Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Vote:
How can you tell if a man is lying?
You can see his lips moving.
A man returns home and find his wife with his best friend.
He takes out the gun and shoots his friend to death.
His wife: "Listen, if you stay in such character, you will lose all your friends."
Vote:
A housewife buys a parrot to keep her company during the day.
The clerk warns that the parrot was donated by a brothel, where he may have picked up some colorful language.
The housewife doesn't mind and brings the parrot home.
When she uncovers the cage, the parrot says, "Brawkk! New Madam. Hello Madam."
When her three daughters come home from school, the parrot says, "Brawkk! New Girls. Hello Girls."
Finally, her husband, Phil, comes home from work, just in time for dinner.
When he walks past the parrot, the parrot says, "Brawkk! Hi Phil!"
Yo mama is so fat, she doesn't fit in this joke.
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache."
The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
Why don't lobsters share?
They re shellfish.