If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
The lawyer’s motto:
a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
Yo mama so poor I sat on the garbage can and she said get off from my roof.
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news.
The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge.
The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.”
The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50.
The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.”
“No, you have to take it,” says the blonde.
“I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
Chuck Norris can beat everyone.
Except for 1 person.
Chuck Norris.
Yo momma's so fat...
When she wears her X jacket helicopters try to land.
Funny Lists: Eight ways to say "Your Fly Is Open"
1. The cucumber has left the salad.
2. You've got Windows in your laptop.
3. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.
4. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.
6. Sailor Ned is trying to take a little shore leave.
7. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
8. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.