Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
Chuck Norris beat the Hulk in an arm wreslting contest... with his leg.
A worker goes to his boss and says, ‘You have to give me a raise.
There are three other companies after me.’
‘Is that so?’ says the manager.
‘And what companies are those?’
The worker replies, ‘The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.’
Chuck Norris knows who A is.
Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead.
Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion.
The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog.
The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head.
"There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead".
Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion.
The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat.
The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head.
"It's definitely dead sir", says the vet.
Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes.
"That will be L1000, please".
"A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man.
"Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
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Chuck Norris does not have to "Fight for his right to Party".
Parties have to fight for their right to Chuck Norris.
Three cheapskates try to figure out a way of killing themselves with one bullet – so they put their heads together.