A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: "Do you know where your going?"
Blonde: "No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people are leaving.
How did the blonde try to kill the bird??
She threw it off a cliff.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
(A gummy bear!)
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under?
A. Because deep down he's a good person.
Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose.
Ortoise: How does he smell?
Gemma: Awful!
Why is it that when a man talks nasty to a women it’s sexual harassment, but when a women talks nasty to a man it’s £3.99 a minute?
‘If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.
They’re trained for that.’
Yo momma’s so fat, her belly button doesn’t have lint, it has sweaters.
Yo momma’s so fat, when she auditioned for a part in Indiana Jones she got the part of the big rolling ball.