What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
Q: How do you find Ronald McDonald in a nudist colony? A: Look for sesame seed buns.
When is a farmer like a magician? When he turns his cow into pasture.
Some people have alter egos. Chuck Norris has no such thing.
Where do steers go to dance? To the Meat Ball.
Why couldn't the cow leave the farm? She was pasteurized.
Yo' Mama is like a bus: she's big, she stinks, and it's only a dollar to ride.
I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
Time travel is possible. But you must first get past Chuck Norris...
One day a miserable toothbrush sits down and says, "Sometimes I feel I have the worst job in the world." Then the toilet paper yells, "Think again buddy!"