Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring? He decided to stick it out for one more year!
Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
When you look for Chuck Norris on Wikipedia, it redirects you to the article titled "Roundhouse kick."
If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam. Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.