A spaceman landed on the moon.
To his surprise he saw ahead of him a little shop, with the name above it: "MORRIE COHEN, BESPOKE TAILORS."
Curious, he went into the shop.
A surprised looking man appeared behind the counter. "Who are you?" he asked.
"I’m a spaceman," replied the spaceman.
The man closed his eyes, and slapped his own cheek with one hand.
"Cutters, I asked for. And they send me spacemen!"
Wouldn’t it be great if men were made by Kodak!
They would automatically shut off when they weren’t being used.
You wouldn’t have to wait for them to recharge after each shot.
They last longer and come with a warranty.
You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle.
They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it.
They come in fashion colors.
You can keep them in maximum zoom.
They come with replaceable or adjustable parts.
The parts that count are portable.
They don’t mind over-exposure.
They respond to the slightest touch.
The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
Q: How is Yo' Mama like the New York Jets?
A: You give them a quarter, and they'll let you score.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, she can only grow hair on her nuts.
Yo' Mama is so fat, politicians fight over redistricting her ass.
Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?
A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A: A snake in the brass.
Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?
Burgers and flies.