Best jokes ever

A blonde, a brunet and a red head were in a competition to see who could swim 60 miles accross a river. The brunet swims 30 miles, gets a cramp and drowns. The red head swims accross 30 miles, gets bit by a shark and drowns. The blonde swims 30 miles accross, says: "I'm tired." and swims 30 miles back.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde, ginger, travel
Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: death, life, music
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather, to how things used to be in the “good old days.” Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you and your bride celebrating your fiftieth wedding anniversary soon?” “Yup, we sure are,” Roy replied. “Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?” another man asked. The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, “For our twenty-fifth anniversary, I took Bea to Tucson. Maybe for our fiftieth, I’ll go down there and get her.”
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, food, old people, weather
Traffic was backed up for miles, the police were going car to car. When they got to my car I asked the officer what was going on. He said "It's O.J. again. He's up there threatening to set himself on fire! We are going car to car collecting donations." "Donations!" I said, "How much you got so far?" He said "about ten gallons."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can’t drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I’m taking them to the movies."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, travel
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, IT, phone, technology
Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge? A: In case she wanted black coffee.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food, stupid
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
Mission Statement: A long awkward sentence that demonstrates management's inability to think clearly.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, stupid
Why don't lobsters share? They re shellfish.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
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