Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E? A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
Yo mama so stupid she thought that 2 quarters were the famous singer every one said wow she's so "right".
What did the red light say to the green light? Don't look I'm changing!
Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. Obviously all of the heads of government and religious leaders want to speak to the aliens so they set up a meeting with our new visitors. When it's the pope's turn, he asks: "Do you know about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?" "You mean J.C?", responds the alien. "yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!" The alien sees that the pope has become irate at this fact and starts trying to rationalize "Maybe he likes our chocolate better than yours?" The pope retorts "Chocolates? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with anything?" The alien says "Yea, when he FIRST visited our planet we gave him a huge box of chocolates. Why? What did you guys do?"
Yo Mama is so nasty, she made the Dead Sea, when went to swim.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a Nintendo GameCube and turned it into a Gameboy.