What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Make choking noises...
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
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Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle.
"I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk.
The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
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A lady tells the nurse at a maternity hospital, "I want to call my little baby Ellie."
Nurse replies, "I'm sorry, but that name is already taken, perhaps you can consider naming her Ellie532 or Ellie_153?"
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
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Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?"
Kangaroo: "I can't find my children"
Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?"
Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
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Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead.
I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
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Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
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